Neon Maniacs [VHS]

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Neon Maniacs [VHS] Review

There is one virtue in having a movie that just jumps headlong into a mindless and disoriented story---at least there's no slow beginning to put you to sleep. Not coincidentally, this is the case with Neon Maniacs, a movie that involves a little maniac but virtually no neon. I remember as a young lad of about sixteen seeing bits and pieces of this movie, and since I had never again endeavored to look for it, until, by happenstance, now, I had begun to believe the movie to be something mythic. But no, it's real, right down to the latex masks. Apparently, these cataclysmic goons live inside a bridge, and they have a deck of Tarot cards with their likenesses. The Neon Maniacs are the Village People of the Horror world. You have Samurai Maniac, Biker Maniac, Army Maniac, Doctor Maniac, Indian Maniac, Monkey Maniac, Crossbow Maniac, Robo-Maniac, and the list just goes on and on.Earlier on (like in the first five minutes) you have this pretty high school girl emerge unscathed from the massacre of her friends by the Neon Maniacs, because the Maniacs are chased away just before they can finish the last girl, by rain, because the Maniacs, for reasons unknown, turn to green slush when they come in contact with water. So, the pretty girl, the sole survivor, bravely goes back to school, where she is pestered about the disappearance of her friends, and then suspended from school because she claims monsters (the nefarious Neon Maniacs) as the culprits. Fortunately, her time spent lounging around the house gives us the opportunity to see her poolside in a bikini. Hoo-wah! Anyhoo, eventually she teams up with her boyfriend and a younger horror-fan girl, and they prepare to do battle with the Maniacs. This improvised warfare involves ponderously complicated strategies like water guns and fire hoses, and at one point, one of the Maniacs is actually driven back by a spilled cup plastic cup of beer or something. At one point, the younger horror fan expeditiously fires a hose at the Straight Jacket Maniac, and knocks his head clean off, like a pop-top on a big can of puke-colored slime. Throw into the action the big highschool "Battle of the Bands", featuring Jerkweed and the Sissy Mary Combo, and Twisted Sister Reject Band with the Loverboy rip-off lead singer. Oh, wait a minute, did I forget to mention that this move takes place in the very hairspray vortex of the 80's? This of course adds an additional level of difficulty to the old cheez-o-meter. But, guys, stay with me. Hang in there; I know you can do it. Skip back to the bikini scene if you have to, but keep at it.In short, if you like horrible movies, you will love this movie. It has pretty much all of the key elements: Indiscernible plot, terrible acting, terrible music, Space Giants special effects and a pretty girl just to keep it interesting. More than that, the DVD is pretty inexpensive, so I personally cannot see any flaw in the equation. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews� Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | PermalinkComment Comment

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